infantile infatuation

there was a girl. actually, there were a few girls. i used to write poems for them. sometimes i’d show them what i write, other times i wouldn’t. some of them liked the notion that there are poems about them. as for the poems - i couldn’t tell if the girls liked or understood them, or if they ever realized it wasn’t them the verses are reflecting upon: “one woman in the world. one woman with a thousand faces”. but, in the beginning, there was Vera. a long time ago.

mirage
what is it that veils
your eternal smile
should i laugh with you
or should i mourn for i will never
     discover what hides
behind the terrifying smile

you spellbind me with your
gaping prying eyes
you gaze at me and you laugh
i have to laugh with you
     and enjoy
     and be blissful
for a moment

then i want the moment to last
i want you to laugh
i want to watch you as you do
     smile at me
          sometimes
over a coffee and a glass of wine
to end the unpleasant silence
as we wait for the movie
to commence

but soon comes the end
you smile at me for the last time
lips that make my heart leap out
you look at me
your wondering eyes
lead me to believe
they had left something
     unspoken

i turn and leave in haste
i know you will not tell
what i’d like to hear
     i flee
for i don’t have the resolve
to earnestly say
i’m dying
for you
for i know
     you wouldn’t smile


music: “Making Movies” – Dire Straits
movie: “Ferris Bueller's Day Off” – John Hughes